what happens when the wedding is over?

Well, the wedding was, (as I have heard from the guests), like pins on pinterest. I will have to post pictues later since my keyboard isnt working to allow us to log on.


She looked more beautiful than I could even put into words. I felt so old watching my baby girl getting married. I was happy she is marrying into a great family and has a wonderful man who truly cares for her and is tender with her. But, then the day is over, the decorations put away, Bride and Groom gather their suitcases for the honeymoon, hug us goodbye and drive away... the house is still in caos and so is my heart and mind. And not just me either. We cry with memories of her growing up, and all the silly things that drove me crazy...socks on the floor, nail polish spills, messy room...I miss it all and I find an empty hole in my heart as we transiton from me being in charge of her care everyday to her being cared for by her husband everyday with a little mom on the side. I wasnt prepared for this, and yet I was. I feel it was too soon. I wasnt ready to give her up. I know I probaly never would be. The trials we have faced together, especially the passing of Daddy, has drawn us closer than might be expected. I feel excited for her to begin her journey, her own life, but as her Mommy, I want to protect her inside this little bubble and never let her get hurt, know that she is home tucked in bed and safe, kiss her soft face, make her wake up early, eat good food, exercise...ahhh the lfie of a mom. I must have forgotten when I came to earth that this would be hard. How on Earth does Heavenly Father do it? Saying goodbye as we leave His presence and travel to this world? Mind you, time is on His side and not nearly as long as it feels to us.

I am not wollowing in sadness right now, just reflecting.

As I continue to reflect...I feel I should write this down for those moments when I wonder what my purpose is...

As of late I have discovered that people from my far far distant past have contacted me over the years to have me listen,  give comfort and advice. If you are reading this and one of them was you, you're not the only one!! It makes me feel of use in this world to be able to help, even in some small measure. So, I thank you for helping me realize I have more purpose than laundry! lol

Maybe you too can start to recognize some of the reasons you are here. I believe everything happens for a purpose. I know people have been put into my life at specific times for specifc reasons. Perhaps you were the one who showed me which way to go in the ariport!

(I'm thinking I am so reflective because today is my bday and older is supposed to be wiser, right? haha)

Here's wishing you may all be happy in your journey today... 

less than a month and my daughter gets married!

AHHHH!
We get so very excited about all the decorations, food, guests and the party but when I stop and think about what this means - my little girl is all grown up and leaving our home - I can barely contain myself. The tears were flowing quite easily but now stress has kicked in and the tears are on hold, yet the sweet sorrow in her departing remains.

Here are a few pictures- some from Pinterest and one from another blog of a vintage wedding, which is what she is doing.

We plan on having apothecary jars with candy for the hard ice-cream toppings.

Her colours are mint green and light vintage pink.

We thought about doing this…but opted out.

http://videkistilus.blogspot.ca/2011_08_01_archive.html

We have been going crazy with making the bunting. She plans on having it inside the out door tent with some cute lights I picked up at Target.

Check out my Pinterest site for more wedding ideas!

This journey is now crazy people! 

Are PRIDE and FEAR destroying our relationships?

{Note to my friends out there who read this and support me, thank you. Today I received word that I am qualified to hold two certifications for personal training. Whoo hoo!}

That was just a side note to all my friends and family who have been wanting to know my status. Now on to another topic which I have been wanting to write about for some time.

Today I wanted to focus on how pride or the lack of, and fear, can make or break our relationships. 

 What is this pride? 

PRIDE

See also Humble, Humility; Money; Riches; Vain, Vanity; Worldliness

A lack or absence of humility or teachableness. Pride sets people in opposition to each other and to God. A proud person sets himself above those around him and follows his own will rather than God’s will. Conceit, envy, hardheartedness, and haughtiness are also typical of a proud person.

found here:https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/pride

I have had experience with both in my lives. (Who hasn't ?)

Let's be frank, shall we? The people in my life who have not been full of pride are the ones who were the greatest people I have ever met. They were teachable. If I were to ask them to do something that could improve our relationship, they would kindly consider my input, and then put into action the change. This ALWAYS created more harmony and I in turn looked at them with higher regard. I would actually stand in awe that they could be so strong and confident in themselves to let go of pride.

For example: A working husband comes home, tired. He leaves his work behind and lays down on the  couch. A wife, also tired from her constant running around with children and household duties sees him there. She kisses his cheek but wishes he would help kids with homework so that she can finish making dinner. Later that evening she tells him this is what she feels could strengthen their relationship. Instead of arguing, he simply helps her from then on. 

• How quick are the children of men lifted up in pride:Hel. 12:4–5;

Now, the opposite is also true. (which is so frustrating because these people ALWAYS got it wrong. I think they believed that if they did "not back down" and "proved their point" that they would be respected more, honoured more and be the "big man" so to speak.) Whenever someone would try to make a positive change or suggest a correction in attitude or behaviour, they would not let go of pride. This has cost them many relationships, pushing away those who would love them deeper and stronger. (Which is what they really wanted in the end and most of them are lonely, confused, hurt and angry).

FEAR

See also Courage, Courageous; Faith; Reverence

Fear can have two meanings: (1) to fear God is to feel reverence and awe for him and to obey his commandments; (2) to fear man, mortal dangers, pain, and evil is to be afraid of such things and to dread them. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/fear?lang=eng&letter=f

I also think that FEAR can also come across as PRIDE. My loved one has a relationship but is often sabotaging it. This person longs to be loved, respected, admired, have a best friend they can trust, but…they have closed their heart for fear of being hurt. (If you think I am talking about you, I probably am ;) but this has also affected me too.) I do know that loving deep inside and then having your heart torn apart in an instant is crushing. I also know the way love feels when all guard is down, trusting the other,  letting go to the silliness inside that lifts you and saying all the "cheesy" things like in the movies - (I do love "cheese"!) work's! Your spirit lifts, soars and refuses to come down to the complacency that everyone else knows as "life". 

• God hath not given us the spirit of fear:2 Tim. 1:7;

For example: Husband comes home wanting to hold his wife, tell her about his day, but does not because they haven't really had that kind of relationship in years. He fears to make the change.

OR

Wife wants to be held, wants to feel magic and sparks, but then refuses to let her husband touch her for fear she will just be let down, or let him down.

It goes both ways.

I only speak what I have experienced. I too have things I need to work on. Everyone does. The yes tpart about life is that we keep getting chances every single day until we are called back home. So today I will make a new life correction and if I fail, I will wake up, pray for forgiveness and help to succeed and try again. (Just like how we learned to walk, to ride a bike, to feed ourselves).

You and I do not have to simply live. We can be happy, we can "Love like we'll never get hurt". Please take the chance, let go of pride and fear. Allow love to change you. I will too. ;>

green shakes

So, my journey as of late…anger. I have found myself angry at my dead husband a lot. (Poor guy, there's no rest for him on the other side of the veil, is there? ;)
I have had a great week and a terrible week at the same time. Some terrible challenges are here and will continue in my future but I also have had some wonderful things come too. One of which was listening to my husband (yes, my new and very much alive husband) tell others how much he loves me and why. Him standing by my side, loving me, sometimes defending me, sometimes protecting me makes our love stronger. So, that was very refreshing!
Now, having said this, it doesn't mean that when I heard the following song on the radio that my heart didn't break all over again.

I will see you again Carrie Underwood

Also today was a great work out! Did I mention that I am now a fully certified personal fitness trainer! Whoo hoo! I did it! So, my fellow training and wonderful friend and I had a magnificent work out. This is what I ate post training! It looks gross and it was yummy!

Found it at fitness magazine.com

I forgot to take the pic as I was kinda hungry…oops! =)

Journey well friends! Make good choices as this determines your future. =>