This is very unlike me to post this type of blog, however, it has come to my attention that some of you would like to know some of the wonderful things my late husband and I did to have such a fairytale relationship (and now, of course, how Kevin and I are building our own magic). It's for you ladies (and you know who you are ;) that I write this, hope it helps.
I am not perfect, but those of you who knew Brian, knew we had an amazing marriage, one that many can't even dream about. Now, Kevin and I are truly patterning our lives in a way, that we too are building a marriage to talk about. So… what are some of the special things…? There are so many, but let's get right to the point!
If you can't afford to go on dates, (which should be once a week- your marriage is an investment), create them at home. When the kids are in bed, turn off the TV, put a blanket down, drink some sparkling apple cider, TALK, remember that? Ask how his day was, what he dreams about doing and how you can work towards achieving those goals. Dream together. Rub each others feet, run a bath, read a book taking turns. Lay on the couch together for that show and eat popcorn. Be close.
Run to the door when he comes home and give him a big hug. Tell him you are glad he is home. (Because you are! He can lighten your load, he makes you smile, you got married for many reasons, remember them?)
I heard this from a friend years ago, and I think it is great. Decide together that if the clock has all the same digits (2:22, 11:11) you will think about each other.
Hold hands.
Wink at him in the store.
Tell him he looks good in those jeans.
When you are grocery shopping together have fun. Kevin and I will throw and catch the produce, the boxes, the cans (he catches, I throw). Grab hands and push the cart in unison. His left hand and your right pushing but other hands locked up tight together.
Wrap your feet around his when sitting at the table, or on the couch. Be close but give him space. Let him have his freedom and you'll find he will appreciate you for that and enjoy the time the two of you share together more.
Are you dancers? Who cares? Grab his arm and dance with him in the kitchen while the spaghetti boils. Or groove in the store.
Sing the lyrics of a perfect song (whether you can sing or not, doesn't matter) that fits you both at that moment.
2. Serve each other. Put a fresh towel out for him when he goes to have a shower. Put toothpaste on one another's toothbrushes morning and night. When you see it, know he's thinking about you. If he forgets just tease and remind him.
Tickle tackle. Tackle him on the floor or the bed - the kids love getting involved trying to be the winner. He'll love the attention from you.
There are lots of ways to serve one another, just look around and find things that he would do that you can do for him. Make his lunch, or breakfast. try to always have supper together. If he will be late, fix his plate so he can just eat it as soon as he gets home. Sit with him and chat while he eats.
3. Play hard to get! Ha! I love this one. (Ladies it works, just try and keep at it) Ok, when did he try his hardest? When he needed to get your attention! Be the first one to say goodbye on the phone. Don't be a nag and call all the time. You are busy too. Have a life. Get out and be independent. But, when you are together relish in it. (You don't know how long you have with each other. I thought I would grow old with my best friend Brian, and I was unpleasantly surprised. Now Kevin and I will sit in rocking chairs together.)
If you serve him all the time and he is not serving back, my suggestion would be to be inconsistent. Keep him on his toes. If you always kiss and hug him when he comes home, maybe if you were a little busy one or two times, he would notice and miss you, but then do it the next time.
4. EXERCISE. Yup. This will release "happy pills" and you'll find you have more energy, you are the happy woman he fell in love with, your intimacy will improve, you'll feel good about yourself and exercise keeps your thoughts in check. You will be more positive. A good trait to have.
4. Lastly, be honest. Not cruel honest, like if he's had too much garlic, but heart felt honest. I have found that telling my husband the scary truth makes what was difficult to say dissolve and become resolved. Develop trust and be best friends.
This is my opinion, and my experiences tried and true. Everyone is different, but you asked me what I did and do... so - Good luck! I want you all to know that I may not write about this again, as it is very personal and right out weird to type this to strangers, but I want you all to have what I enjoy. It is cheesy? Absolutely! (I love cheese!) But if you are so happy why would you care even a smidgen what others think? Let them be grouchy or jealous. You just be happy. Guard your marriage. Enjoy one another's companionship while you can. Your family is your greatest treasure. I wish you all the best of luck.
.jpg)
I am not perfect, but those of you who knew Brian, knew we had an amazing marriage, one that many can't even dream about. Now, Kevin and I are truly patterning our lives in a way, that we too are building a marriage to talk about. So… what are some of the special things…? There are so many, but let's get right to the point!
(highball.deviantart.com)
1. Make your marriage fun! It was fun when you dated so why does that have to stop? Kids, you say? Well, we have kids. SIX of them. You must make time for each other. Why? Because you WANT to. If it's 5 minutes in between taxing children, then stop and snuggle or give a hug. Pay attention. Ask about your days, give a kiss...
Tell him he's cute, funny, sweet, romantic…when he is of course. He could just be sleeping and looking so peaceful, give his cheek a little kiss and when he's awake tell him how adorable he looked.If you can't afford to go on dates, (which should be once a week- your marriage is an investment), create them at home. When the kids are in bed, turn off the TV, put a blanket down, drink some sparkling apple cider, TALK, remember that? Ask how his day was, what he dreams about doing and how you can work towards achieving those goals. Dream together. Rub each others feet, run a bath, read a book taking turns. Lay on the couch together for that show and eat popcorn. Be close.
Run to the door when he comes home and give him a big hug. Tell him you are glad he is home. (Because you are! He can lighten your load, he makes you smile, you got married for many reasons, remember them?)
I heard this from a friend years ago, and I think it is great. Decide together that if the clock has all the same digits (2:22, 11:11) you will think about each other.
Hold hands.
Wink at him in the store.
Tell him he looks good in those jeans.
(dreamstime.com)
Smile your infectious smile and walk away. (So he can remember a happy You leaving, not a grumpy, tired out, stressed out Mom and wife- even though you may be)You wan tour smile embedded in his brain. ;) (Not some other smiling woman he saw that day)When you are grocery shopping together have fun. Kevin and I will throw and catch the produce, the boxes, the cans (he catches, I throw). Grab hands and push the cart in unison. His left hand and your right pushing but other hands locked up tight together.
Wrap your feet around his when sitting at the table, or on the couch. Be close but give him space. Let him have his freedom and you'll find he will appreciate you for that and enjoy the time the two of you share together more.
Are you dancers? Who cares? Grab his arm and dance with him in the kitchen while the spaghetti boils. Or groove in the store.
Sing the lyrics of a perfect song (whether you can sing or not, doesn't matter) that fits you both at that moment.
2. Serve each other. Put a fresh towel out for him when he goes to have a shower. Put toothpaste on one another's toothbrushes morning and night. When you see it, know he's thinking about you. If he forgets just tease and remind him.
Tickle tackle. Tackle him on the floor or the bed - the kids love getting involved trying to be the winner. He'll love the attention from you.
There are lots of ways to serve one another, just look around and find things that he would do that you can do for him. Make his lunch, or breakfast. try to always have supper together. If he will be late, fix his plate so he can just eat it as soon as he gets home. Sit with him and chat while he eats.
3. Play hard to get! Ha! I love this one. (Ladies it works, just try and keep at it) Ok, when did he try his hardest? When he needed to get your attention! Be the first one to say goodbye on the phone. Don't be a nag and call all the time. You are busy too. Have a life. Get out and be independent. But, when you are together relish in it. (You don't know how long you have with each other. I thought I would grow old with my best friend Brian, and I was unpleasantly surprised. Now Kevin and I will sit in rocking chairs together.)
If you serve him all the time and he is not serving back, my suggestion would be to be inconsistent. Keep him on his toes. If you always kiss and hug him when he comes home, maybe if you were a little busy one or two times, he would notice and miss you, but then do it the next time.
4. EXERCISE. Yup. This will release "happy pills" and you'll find you have more energy, you are the happy woman he fell in love with, your intimacy will improve, you'll feel good about yourself and exercise keeps your thoughts in check. You will be more positive. A good trait to have.
4. Lastly, be honest. Not cruel honest, like if he's had too much garlic, but heart felt honest. I have found that telling my husband the scary truth makes what was difficult to say dissolve and become resolved. Develop trust and be best friends.
This is my opinion, and my experiences tried and true. Everyone is different, but you asked me what I did and do... so - Good luck! I want you all to know that I may not write about this again, as it is very personal and right out weird to type this to strangers, but I want you all to have what I enjoy. It is cheesy? Absolutely! (I love cheese!) But if you are so happy why would you care even a smidgen what others think? Let them be grouchy or jealous. You just be happy. Guard your marriage. Enjoy one another's companionship while you can. Your family is your greatest treasure. I wish you all the best of luck.
.jpg)
Me and my Kevie
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