I know many of my friends and loved ones are experiencing grief. Some of you view my blog just for the how to's, others for the pictures, some for the books I choose, others for curiosity's sake and still some view it just because they love me. Well, this entry is to help those who grieve. I have seen death hit far too many friends and family in the last five years. I hope this helps who it may.
I was skimming a book a friend had lent me, "Grieving. The Pain and the Promise." by Deanna Edwards. In it she speaks about creative grief:
"Creative grief and recovery involve taking the pain and making something of positive, lasting value with it. It doesn't need to be something monumental. A display in your home, a journal entry, or a new flower garden can be meaningful. If your creativity accomplishes nothing more than an outlet for you and a better understanding about life, it has served it's purpose. This process provides therapy for the person who is grieving. It also increases awareness of and respect for others who have the courage to open their hearts and minds in order to learn form their own pain.
Grief means something good only if it changes us for the better and strengthens us. The added dimension of creative grief is that as we use it to clarify and define our feelings, we gain an increased awareness of others. The unbearable becomes more bearable when it is shared. It is that refiner's fire that challenges us to call upon the divine within ourselves and to invite the comfort and presence of the Holy Spirit when we need it most. Creativity is the essence of life and the evidence of immortality!"
She goes on to say that pain can be a tool to create something better instead of a weapon to hurt or punish us.
I knew that I was going strong, overboard, crazy busy with my creativeness but this makes me understand why. When Brian's Dad just passed, and with hearing that my friend's daughter was dying of cancer, I got busy. I didn't want to think about anything. Especially not the pain. What kind, human being likes pain? No thanks.
I hope you are enjoying what my blog has to offer in the sense of how to's. Not only the how to's of home improvements, but on self improvements as well. It's okay to mourn our loved ones. I do everyday. In fact, I was reading an LDS church magazine - the Ensign, and I quote the writer, Stephen Havertz who said about feeling pain all the time- in the article entitled "Lifting the Hands which Hang Down"
"People who want to help should be very careful about placing a time limit on someone's grief. Some believe that people should be finished grieving after a year and a half…I have learn that the pangs of grief can recur years latter without warning. This type of grief doesn't mean that I'm depressed or inconsolable, but rather it suggests that I still miss the people I love."*
"I have found that the most helpful conversations occur when people share their favourite memories of my wife and daughter with me; it's also helpful when they are willing to listen to my favourite memories. I often cry during these conversations, but that doesn't mean my day is ruined. These interactions actually brighten my day. You don't have to help people who are grieving to stop crying. It may seem counterintuitive to cause more pain, but I have found with my own grief that I'm in pain anyway, and these conversations provide a chance for me to release my feelings."*
I was skimming a book a friend had lent me, "Grieving. The Pain and the Promise." by Deanna Edwards. In it she speaks about creative grief:
"Creative grief and recovery involve taking the pain and making something of positive, lasting value with it. It doesn't need to be something monumental. A display in your home, a journal entry, or a new flower garden can be meaningful. If your creativity accomplishes nothing more than an outlet for you and a better understanding about life, it has served it's purpose. This process provides therapy for the person who is grieving. It also increases awareness of and respect for others who have the courage to open their hearts and minds in order to learn form their own pain.
Grief means something good only if it changes us for the better and strengthens us. The added dimension of creative grief is that as we use it to clarify and define our feelings, we gain an increased awareness of others. The unbearable becomes more bearable when it is shared. It is that refiner's fire that challenges us to call upon the divine within ourselves and to invite the comfort and presence of the Holy Spirit when we need it most. Creativity is the essence of life and the evidence of immortality!"
She goes on to say that pain can be a tool to create something better instead of a weapon to hurt or punish us.
I knew that I was going strong, overboard, crazy busy with my creativeness but this makes me understand why. When Brian's Dad just passed, and with hearing that my friend's daughter was dying of cancer, I got busy. I didn't want to think about anything. Especially not the pain. What kind, human being likes pain? No thanks.
I hope you are enjoying what my blog has to offer in the sense of how to's. Not only the how to's of home improvements, but on self improvements as well. It's okay to mourn our loved ones. I do everyday. In fact, I was reading an LDS church magazine - the Ensign, and I quote the writer, Stephen Havertz who said about feeling pain all the time- in the article entitled "Lifting the Hands which Hang Down"
"People who want to help should be very careful about placing a time limit on someone's grief. Some believe that people should be finished grieving after a year and a half…I have learn that the pangs of grief can recur years latter without warning. This type of grief doesn't mean that I'm depressed or inconsolable, but rather it suggests that I still miss the people I love."*
"I have found that the most helpful conversations occur when people share their favourite memories of my wife and daughter with me; it's also helpful when they are willing to listen to my favourite memories. I often cry during these conversations, but that doesn't mean my day is ruined. These interactions actually brighten my day. You don't have to help people who are grieving to stop crying. It may seem counterintuitive to cause more pain, but I have found with my own grief that I'm in pain anyway, and these conversations provide a chance for me to release my feelings."*
* (highlighted quotes) My sentiments exactly.
No comments:
Post a Comment